Here is my half-tongue-in-cheek theory on why so many men and women end up unmarried. In a nutshell, maturity lags eccentricity (especially for males). Also the way we socialize our youth focuses on entertainment, education and building careers when they are young which runs counter to our reproductive and mating needs as a species. For the average woman to marry, they must make a gamble on how the man will mature over time. If they delay doing this, their biological clock ticks ever more loudly, the pool gets smaller and smaller and they become even more set in their ways and inflexible on daily routines. For males, American bachelor culture teaches them all the wrong lessons and by the time they find out that being alone isn't all it was sold to them as when they were young, their lack of domestic influence has made them too slovenly/odd/socially clueless to attract a mate. They are left to either while away their time with a computer wishing they had grown up sooner or else find something mature and meaningful to do with their life. But what kind of meaningful life's work does society encourage or prepare slovenly/odd/socially clueless (i.e., undomesticated) men to do? For the most part, nada.
This plot is a slightly more hopeful look at the homo-sapien mating scene. Almost all men mature when they get married. Almost all men mature A LOT when they have kids. Men who stay unmarried for too long are often those who give up hope and regress or never matured in the first place.
The biggest takeaway from a plot comparing the ecentricity of married and unmarried men is that most people develop peculiar and tough to break habits as they get older. Getting married reduces this tendency dramatically among males but doesn't eliminate it. The best shot for women is to either be really flexible about this or marry young so they can have some say in how these peculiarities evolve.
Lastly, I've been told that I'm a poop for making a suggestion like this and criticized by both male and female. I'm not sure how to take that, except that I hit some slightly sensitive spots with some people who weren't married. This is humor. I'm not aiming this at any particular person. I do think that we have some serious problems as a society regarding our mating habits and how society doesn't encourage people to prepare well in this area. Anyway, if you want something impersonal to blame for the dissatisfaction on all sides, blame the pill or pornography or women's lib. Just, please, don't blame me. I'm more than willing to entertain alternative tongue-in-cheek theories(or even serious ones) as to the why of this situation, and I'm really not to blame for it in the first place.
Monday, August 09, 2010
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
"Our children and grandchildren are abandoning the faith because they perceive -- rightly -- that its demands are at fundamental variance with the lives we have prepared them to lead. We have raised them to seek lives characterized by material comfort, sexual fulfillment, and freedom from any obligations that they have not personally chosen. Should it surprise us that they fail to take seriously our claims to follow one who embraced poverty, chastity, and obedience to the will of God?"
-J. Peter Nixon
I'd probably add the term self-perceived in front of sexual fulfillment, though I'm not sure even that applies to most people. The point is a valid one nonetheless. We don't do a good job raising Christians as a subculture because we have adopted lifestyles and goals which make Jesus look like an self-oppressed freak to our children.
Posted by Douglas at 8:16 AM